In a tragic moment for [current oppressed group here]'s rights. The First Transgender Army Officer Jamie Lee Henry has failed to pass the army's rigorous standard of being just barely enough of a patriot to not betray your own country, and outed himself as a Russian Spy.
Fellow officers said they began to suspect Jamie when he let some subtle but noticeable clues. "I started to suspect something wasn't right when one morning, instead of starting The Nation Anthem with 'Oh say can you see', Jamie started singing, 'Россия священная наша держава,'. That was the first clue."
Others began suspecting something was wrong when, one night drinking late, Jamie reminded them that, "We are literally dying for this evil trans-phobic nation and military industrial complex that exist only to serve the profit margins of the top billionth of 1%".
An Unnamed FBI agent Posing as a Russian spy noted that the final straw was when Henry, "Straight up offered us US secrets, That really cemented it for us".