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House Democrats call to add Four Umpires to Congressional Baseball Game Roster


After a humiliating defeat in 2021, House Democrats are now calling to expand the umpire roster by 4 democrats in what they say is a return to form following an illegitimate conservative bias gained in previous years. Their plan would add 4 new democrat appointed umpires, all but ensuring each and every call is made in their favor for the upcoming July 28th game.


House democrats have criticized the current umpire roster as being biased in favor of the conservative team. Democrats have criticized the motivation of recent decisions as being based in partisanship rather than in the public interest “Just look at the first base umpire” said representative Hank Johnson, lead sponsor of the Umpire Justice Act, “You can see the gleam in his eyes when he thinks about dashing our dreams for victory this summer”.


“A doubling of the 4 umpires to 8, with the majority of them being democrats is the only way to ensure fairness in the game”, explained Mark Takano of California. When asked about the possibility of a democrat bias in an expanded umpire roster Takano called the claims, "fake news" and reminded the questioner that if the democrats couldn’t win, then there really was no point in the game anyways.

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