In Wake of Monkeypox Crisis, Representative Binks Proposes Granting Emergency Powers to Sleepy Joe

With Monkeypox following so closely to the Covid pandemic, which left no survivors. Many are concerned that leadership in Washington is not capable of responding appropriately to this new threat. Chief amongst those concerned is the gungan, Jar Jar Binks, who believes that the only way to prevent further crisis is to hand absolute power to Joe Biden

"Meesa no wantin the MonkeyPox" The Representative from Naboo informed the press, "The only way weesa gettin rid of it, is by waking up da sweepy president and giving him immeidately the most emergency powers" Following this declaration Jar Jar Binks led a majority democrat vote to grant President Joe Biden an IV drip of caffeine and unilateral control over the government.

With these emergency powers Joe Biden is expected to distribute more crack pipes to homeless people, shut down all gas production in the US, Merge the Us Military into the IRS ,and print a 'million-bazillion' dollars (Simultaneously defeating inflation once and for all) all in the name of defending this country from the threat of Monkeypox.