In an interview with Israel’s channel 12, President Joe Biden announced his plan of action should Iran attempt to develop a nuclear weapon.
Within a standard business week Biden will be certain to have located the pen he lost on his desk the other day. Following its location he would then draft a letter so stern that the Iranian engineers would begin disassembling the missile piece by piece out of their fear of the aging President's vengeance.
“I’ll use strong words like ‘unacceptable’, deplorable’ and even compare them to the Republican Party” asserted The President, "Harsher words have never been deployed against a foreign adversary".
When asked if he thought a letter was a strong enough response to a nuclear threat, the President scoffed, “Come on Jack, these questions… they’re silly questions.” He then rose from his chair, attempted to shake hands with the lamp next to him, and shuffled back to his handlers.
While critics of this plan remain unconvinced that Biden’s letter will have the promised destructive force to defuse a nuclear standoff, his supporters took to the internet to remind critics that words and speech are violence capable of not only causing bodily hard akin to actual violence, but also destabilizing entire nations if not proceeded by appropriate trigger warnings.
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