White House Press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre decided to play it safe yesterday, when asked about the president’s knowledge of the Mar-a-Lago raid, and threw Merrick Garland under the wheels of a nearby school bus.
“What’s that, oh I’m sure The President had no idea about that” she answered, while giving the nearby Attorney General a hearty shove. Impeccable timing meant that Garland was immediately squished beneath the metal behemoth. However Jean-Pierre, not one to leave a job unfinished wanted to be certain.
The Press Secretary boarded the bus which had stopped to see if Garland was alright. With a well aimed kick she sent the driver out the bus window. She then took to the driver’s seat and began to reverse. A severely weakened Merrick Garland began to pull himself out of the road, but Jean Pierre was already upon him. “Yep, the DOJ left us completely in the dark”, she explained smiling and waving to the press, while the front tires reacquainted themselves with Garland.
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