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The New York Times’ Top Ten Recipes for Enjoying Human



Following their recent reminder that human is back on the menu for Summer 2022. The New York Times has released a list of their top ten recipes to delight cannibals of all ages.



1. A La Lecter - This summer preparation is best paired with a side of lava beans and a nice Chianti


2. Big Green Egg 18 Hour Smoke - Your average nephew is perfectly sized for the Big Green Egg!


3. The Food Truck - Tenderizer on the go! - Bowl over your meals then toss them in the back for the big cookout.


4. Liquid Only Diet - A favorite of Nancy Pelosi, guaranteed to keep you alive no matter how many souls you need to devour.


5. Human Horn - If you’re looking to spice up your love life, there’s no better offering. Just remember to harvest the LOWER horn.


6. The Vegetarian option - Lower in Cholesterol seeking out a vegetarian is a great way to get your human fix without all of the calories. Tastes exactly the same*

7. Squaw Liz Warren’s favorite - This hearty recipe ensures that you use every part of the human

8. Human Tartare - Requiring the least amount of work - all you need to do is run outside and take a big chomp out of the nearest bystander.

9. Taco Bell - Just order anything on the menu

10. Joe Biden’s - [Insert Funny Recipe Name Here and No Don’t Just Copy This Justin.


This article is late as it is]



*Tastes like crap.

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