“It’s a real shame” announced Dr. Frida Waterfall, head of the LGBT± Foundation, “Unfortunately the rampant homophobia in this country has led to a vast increase in Monkeypox in the LGBTQWERTYUIOP42069± community and ending this homophobia is the only way to combat the spread."
While initially The Foundation’s research had investigated a possible behavioral cause in the spike in cases in the LGBT± Community, their research took a rapid turn after receiving their first round of data which they refused to publish. A public statement on their website notes that, “As members of the LGBT± are exactly the same as anyone else, they engage in absolutely no activities that your average member of society does not as well…. Because WE ARE average members of society, you bigot”. When respondents began to point out that there was ONE thing they definitely were doing that the rest of society was not, they were promptly removed from the room and their data scrubbed from the study as they had been identified as ‘right- wing-trolls’
Once The Foundation had ruled out any behavioral cause they then turned to the source of all other LGBT woes, society as a whole. Their research, unavailable at this time, has determined that the daily homophobia that LGBT± people face causes an unfortunate decrease in their immune function, specifically in the capacity to battle Monkey Pox.
“Until homophobia in this country ends the LGBT± community, ends” opined Dr. Waterfall, “The LGBT± community will have to live in constant fear of the violence of bigotry and judgments and the health concerns that come with them”. The Foundation hopes to one day live in a society free of the damaging medical impact, of prejudice.
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